Kyle and the Seven Midgets
by MarshieMello-Cookies
Summary: The fairest of them all, a jealous King,seven midgets and a Prince Charming. Oh yeah, it's happened. Be warned, crack ensues inside!
1. Once upon a time

**A very random story idea which just popped into my mind, I mean, South Park and Snow White is just plain genius! Anyways, Hope you enjoy :3**

**Disclaimer: Don't own South Park or Snow White**

**Warning: There's cursing, but heck, this is South Park**

King Cartman sat regally on his humongous throne, admiring his reflection in his small golden hand mirror. Cartman loved many things –Annoying Kyle, causing Kyle pain, torturing Kyle, money, KFC, gold, Hitler, and Nazis, but the thing he loved the most was himself.

He'd sit for hours, gazing at his reflection in that mirror, but of course, this wasn't just _any_ mirror. It was a _magic_ mirror.

The mirror would tell you who the hottest person in the world was. The mirror always told Cartman that he was the hottest person in the world, knowing that Cartman would smash him to pieces if he didn't.

On this particular day, the mirror was sick of his life with Cartman, so he had a plan.

"Well mirror, who's the hottest person in the world?" asked Cartman, smiling smugly.

"Not you, Fatass. It's actually Kyle, y'know, the orphan kid who you use as a slave? Yeah, I've just been lying to you, so ya won't kill me" answered the mirror bravely.

There was an ear-shattering smash from the throne room.

Kyle looked up from his mopping and sighed, "Aww fuck. More for me to clean up"

He picked up his mop and bucket and plodded down to the throne room miserably.

His life sucked. When he was 8 years old, his parents were executed by Cartman for being Jewish. Kyle, having nowhere else to go, had to stay in the castle as Cartman's slave.

Every day, Cartman found a new way to torture him. Sometimes it was hanging him upside down from the castle turrets, sometimes Cartman beat the shit out of him, and sometimes, Cartman threw him in a pot of boiling water.

He knocked on the huge oak doors, before pushing them open and stepping inside. He wished he hadn't.

When Cartman saw him, he went crazy. He stormed over to Kyle, threw the bucket of water over his head, and then used the mop to beat the shit out of him. Then, he pulled out a gleaming dagger. Kyle was terrified. He hadn't done anything wrong, so why was Cartman so angry with him?

"If I'm not the hottest person in the world, you won't be either," He said menacingly, before thrusting the dagger at Kyle.

Kyle barely managed to dodge the dagger, but instead, fell out of a window. Luckily, he landed in a bush.

"Holy fuck" he said, panting. Not because he was nearly killed, but because he was finally away from Cartman. Now, he could finally run away. He had no idea where to go, just anywhere miles from Cartman.

He ran into the forest, ignoring the immense pain all over his body. He'd put up with it for almost ten years now, so it wasn't anything new.

The forest was kinda creepy, with evil looking, gnarled trees, and looming shadows. Truth was, Kyle had never been outside on his own before. He'd spent most of his life inside, and the only daylight he'd ever seen was through a window.

Then, after running for a while, Kyle began to feel a bit light headed. Only when he reached a clearing and sat down, did he realise the huge gashes and shards of glass all over his body.

Then, all of a sudden, everything began to fade away, before everything went black….

**Sorry for shortness, the next chapter should be longer. What do you think? Please review, coz then I'll update quicker! *wink wink* **

**PS. Have you got any better names for this story? I just don't think mine is very good. If you do, just leave it in the reviews. It'd make me very happy :3**

**Lots of Luv (and Cookie Dough) from xXCookieDoughXx**


	2. Seven Midgets

**Thanx for the awesome reviews! You guys rock! Just if you wanna know, my other story called "The Truth is Revealed", is temporally on hold because I've no idea where that story's heading. Sorry, don't hate me! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own South Park or Snow White…yet**

**Warning: There's cursing, but heck, this is South Park, whaddya expect?**

Kyle slowly opened his eyes. His head hurt like fucking hell, but other than that, he felt OK.

Then, he noticed seven pairs of eyes staring anxiously at him.

"Fuck! Don't rape me! Please!" He screamed in terror, jumping up from the bed he was lying on.

He looked at the people in front of him. They only reached up to his waist. They were midgets.

"Aww thanks, great to see you appreciate us saving your **GODDAMN LIFE**!" One of the midgets, wearing a blue chullo, said to him monotonously.

Kyle looked at himself, and noticed that all his cuts had been bandaged up.

"Stop it Craig! He's just a bit shocked, so fuck off, leave him alone!" Said another one, who was wearing an orange parka.

"Hi, uhm, I'm Butters, what's your name?" asked a midget with light blue jacket and a tuft of blonde hair.

"Uh, I'm…..erm…..Kyle, yup, that's my name" said Kyle slowly, eying the bunch. They looked quite friendly, and they did just save his life, so he decided he could trust them.

"So are you, erm ….elves?" Asked Kyle

"Nope" replied the group altogether

"Dwarves?"

"Nope"

"Gnomes?"

"Uh-uh"

"Erm….Midgets?"

"Well duh, as if that isn't obvious!" Exclaimed one with brown hair and a red jacket.

After a moment of awkward silence, Butters finally broke it.

"Oh hamburgers! How rude of us, we forgot to introduce ourselves!"

"I am ze Mole, but you may call me Christophe" answered a thick French accent

"Hi. I'm Craig" Said the one with the blue chullo, before flipping him off.

"I'm Kenny. I die nearly every day" said the one in the orange parka.

_Die every day? Is that even possible?_ Thought Kyle, just before a random lightning bolt struck Kenny, immediately killing him.

"Yo, I'm Token," said a black boy, ignoring Kenny's death, as if it was the thousandth time he'd seen him die.

"I'm…ngh…Tweek…..WATCH OUT FOR THE UNDERPANTS GNOMES!" yelled a boy with spiky blonde hair, who held a thermos of coffee.

"Are you OK? I think you've had too much coffee" asked Kyle, slightly concerned.

"Yeah he's fine, oh, and I'm Clyde" said the boy with the brown hair and red jacket.

"Ok, nice to meet you all," replied Kyle.

He looked out the nearest window. All he could see was miles of forest stretched out in front of him.

"If you don't mind me asking, why do you live in the middle of the forest?"

"Coz we're midgets. We get shunned by society, and everyone hates us, coz they think we're creepy" replied Craig dully.

"Well, I don't think you're creepy at all," Kyle commented.

"Aww thanks Kyle, that's awful nice of ya, but ya don't have to lie to us" said Butters, blushing a bit," Even our own mothers hate us"

"Geez, I'm sorry to hear that dude" Kyle couldn't help but to feel sorry for them. Having everyone against you because of your size seemed just plain nasty, especially if your mom couldn't look you in the eye while saying "I love you".

Cartman was furious. That goddamn ginger Jew had gotten away! Still, he wasn't gonna give up so easily.

He stormed down the steps of the castle dungeons, until he came to a brick wall. He pressed a brick, which then opened up to reveal a secret lair.

Bottles of oddly coloured potions and tattered spell books were stacked messily on shelves, and a Rusty black cauldron full of neon green slime stood in the middle of it all.

He strode over to the cauldron, waved his hand over the surface, and whispered Kyle's name.

A grey mist rose from the pot, before forming a mirror, in which Kyle and the midgets was in.

Cartman smirked. The Jew was still alive. Now, the plan of revenge began to form in his mind.

"If you think you're gonna have a happily ever after, think again" He smiled evilly, clasping his hands together.

**GASP! Evil Cartman sorcerer! Reviews would make me very happy, and everyone loves being happy, right? I think I'll change the story name to "Kyle and the Seven Midgets". Whaddya think?**

**Lots of Luv (and Cookie Dough) from xXCookieDoughXx**


	3. Cookie Mines!

**Thanx again for the awesome reviews! Sorry for not updating in a while, just needed a bit of time to get this chapter right :D**

**Disclaimer: Don't own SP, or Snow White. Woop-dee-doo**

**Warning: Yeah, you know there's cursing, you get it**

Cartman glared at Kyle in his cauldron. He was gonna make sure Kyle had the most painful death imaginable, and he'd make sure of it.

He could just send someone out to assassinate him, but he wasn't dumb. He knew _everybody _liked Kyle. He knew no-one except him could do it.

He carefully stroked Kyle's face in the green slime, slightly smiling as his face distorted, but frowned when it went back to normal.

_What makes him so special? Why do people like him? _Thought Cartman.

Kyle was a poor, ginger Jew. Why the hell would anyone like a poor, ginger Jew? If anything, mud would be more interesting.

Was it his jade-green eyes? Nah, to Cartman, green was the colour of barf.

Was it his smile? Uh-uh. Kyle rarely smiled, well, to Cartman he didn't, but he was kind to everyone else.

Hmm…Was it his personality? Nope, he was a boring nerd. 'Fun' was something Kyle wasn't. Now chopping people's heads off, now _that_ was fun!

Cartman was stumped. What was it that people liked about Kyle?

Deciding to forget about it, and think more about his revenge, he plopped down on a sofa with his favourite book; _Revenge and Gruesome Deaths_ by Eve L. Mind

Being fully recovered, Kyle was able to walk around.

After telling the midgets about his escape from Cartman, the midgets promised to let Kyle stay.

It was the least they could do for the poor orphaned kid.

"Nice house ya got here" commented Kyle, looking around at the mini-cottage. It was like it belonged to the '_It's a small world_' ride in Disneyland.

"Uh, Kyle, watch out for-"

CLUNK!

Too late. Kyle bashed his head against the roof while coming downstairs.

"Oww! Fuck, that hurt!" he moaned

"Well be more careful next time, dumbass!" shouted Clyde.

"Aww fellas, don't be mean to Kyle! It's not his fault he's tall!" said Butters, helping Kyle up.

Kyle blushed slightly. Someone being on his side for once! Maybe, all those years of torture were starting to be repaid.

"I'm Ok, but thanks anyways Butters"

Kyle couldn't help but to feel curious. There were so many questions he wanted to ask.

"So, how do you guys survive in the middle of the forest?" asked Kyle, deciding to knock off one of the questions on his growing list.

"We work at a cookie mine in the forest. It sounds weird, but the cookies are wicked!" answered Kenny, who'd come back to life.

_Cookie Mine_? Kyle didn't know a lot of things about the world outside, but a cookie mine? Now that was just random.

"Yeah, some guy called Mephesto created it, then abandoned it, so it's all ours!" said Token.

"Seriously dude, you gotta try this!" Said Kenny, handing him a cookie.

_Well, there's a first time for everything._ Thought Kyle, taking a bite.

It was amazing. The chocolate chips were heavenly, and the cookie was soft, like it was lightly baked.

"Holy fuck! This is freakin' awesome!" Kyle exclaimed, with a mouthful of cookie.

"Told ya you'd like it!" smiled Kenny warmly.

Suddenly, a clock started chiming.

"C'mon guys, back to the mine! We're low on cookies!" Called Craig plainly.

Everyone sighed miserably.

"Do I come too?" asked Kyle.

Tweek shook his head, "No-ngh- C…Cartman...Might getcha! Ngh! H…He's always p..prowling about!"

"Sorry Kyle, Tweek's right. Don't worry, we'll be back soon. Just don't leave the house, Kay?"

Kyle sighed as they left and shut the door.

He was all alone on his own. It reminded him of his dungeon cell back at the castle. It was cold, damp and scary. He shuddered at the memory of it.

Little did he know of Cartman's plans…

**Uh oh! What will Cartman do to Kyle? And yes, if you're wondering, I am a crazy physco who believes in "cookie mines". Sorry for shortness as well! Please review, coz if you do, I'll give you a cookie from the cookie mines!**

**Lots of Luv (and Cookie Dough) from xXCookieDoughXx**


	4. Revenge has only begun

**OMG! That episode "**_**You're Getting Old**_**" had me in tears! I mean, Kyle and Cartman being **_**friends**_**? Stan- I'm gonna stop now in case I spoil it. If you've watched it, y'know what I mean. Seriously, this just can't happen! I don't want it to end!**

**In other words, getting on with the story…**

**Disclaimer: Don't own South Park (But when I do, I'll make sure Matt and Trey **_**DON'T**_** cancel it!)**

****

Prince Stan sighed miserably, leaning against the barred up window. Like any other day, he had nothing to do, since he was prisoner in the tower.

Years ago, Cartman had declared war on the kingdom. He killed his parents, made himself King, and locked Stan up, instead of killing him.

Everyone else believed that Stan had been killed. Nope. Instead, he was Cartman's slave. Cartman had some sort of sick obsession with others feeling pain. Especially Stan and Kyle. They were his favourite people to torture.

Stan lay miserably on his bed. All he could think about was Kyle's fate.

He was the only one who knew about Cartman's dark magic, as that was the only way Cartman could conquer the Kingdom. He also knew this because Cartman used him as his lab-rat. Most potions tasted horrible, and had painful effects, while some where OK.

He was worried about Kyle. He had watched him from his window countless times. Kyle always waved to everyone he met, and always tried to be cheerful, while working in the courtyard. Sometimes, he talked kindly to birds. Truth was, over the years, Stan had grown to like Kyle. He had his own secret crush on him. He blushed at the thought of it, but it was the truth.

He was aware that something was going on. He had heard the smash of the mirror, and had seen Kyle fall out the window. He had watched Kyle run into the forest. He had seen Cartman storming out the castle gates on a black horse, with a smug expression. He knew what was gonna happen, and to say the least, Kyle was doomed.

Cartman was good at many things – Eating, Being a Jerk, Lying, Torturing, Magic and being a lazy piece of shit, but the thing he was best at was Revenge.

****

Loneliness. One of the worst feelings in the world. Kyle had grown to live with it, but for once, it was starting to get to him. It had only been an hour since the midgets had left, but still, he never felt so alone.

Back at the castle, there were servants and a village full of people, but here, it was just an empty cottage in the middle of nowhere.

Kyle sighed, looking out of the window. Trees, bushes, trees, birds, trees and just more trees. At least he was away from Cartman. Cartman couldn't find him out here, could he?

He looked around the cottage. There wasn't anything interesting to do.

Then, Kyle looked out the window again. If he went out for just five minutes, it wouldn't matter, right? The midgets wouldn't know, it'd be his little secret. The temptation got the better of him, so he went outside.

It was amazing, to be outdoors for once and feel free, and safe. Kyle ran around trees in circles, waved to birds and squirrels and laughed.

He was actually having fun! He had always looked on the bright side, knowing that one day, his hero would come, and now it had.

"I guess all that hard work and torture finally paid off" He smiled to himself, sitting down under a tree. He lay on his back and stared up at the bright green leaves. Then, something shiny and red hit him on the arm.

"An apple?" he thought to himself. This must be his lucky day! For anyone, an apple falling from a tree was barely lucky, but to Kyle, who only got to eat the decomposing leftovers of Cartman's feasts, it was.

He took a bite. It tasted sour and bitter.

"Not my luck at all" He thought, trying to spit it out.

But for some reason, he couldn't. He couldn't feel his body. It was like he was frozen.

A burning pain burst out in Kyle's heart. I t quickly spread to his lungs, and all the rest of his body.

Kyle had felt pain before, but nothing like this.

"Well, well, well, you thought you'd be safe with your _little _boyfriends, didn't you" sneered Cartman, emphasizing little.

He slowly walked out of his hiding place in the shadows, smiling smugly.

"Like the poison apple, Kyle? Only the best for you, and trust me, this is far from over" He laughed evilly.

Kyle's jade eyes dulled, as Cartman's laughs grew fainter, and the forest blurred around him.

He slumped against the tree, unconscious.

"Part One was a success" He grinned maliciously.

****

**Uh-oh! What'll Cartman do next? Only I know the answer to that, and no, it's not rape. And yes, Stan is Prince Charming.**

**Lots of Luv (and Cookie Dough) from xXCookieDoughXx**


	5. Bloody Revenge

**Hi again, it's me! Just wanna thank Princess-Of-Your-Doom95, rockergurl95, PurpleandBlackPandas, Phantom Nini, tmntlover123456789 for reviewing! You all deserve a cookie! :D And thanks to all you reviewers again, coz now I'm pretty sure SP won't end! Yayz!  
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**Sadly, the story is nearly over :( There will probably be only one or two chapters left. Oh well.  
>Another thing I need to say, the genre of this Chapter is mainly HorrorTragedy**

**Disclaimer: Don't own SP or Snow White**

**Warning: Cursing, Gore and Death (Nooo!)**

**()()()()()()()()()()()()()()**

A little moral I've lived life through – The king always wins. It's never failed me.

Right now, that stupid little Jew and his _little_ boyfriends are about to witness the greatest show of their lives. God, I can imagine the looks on their faces. Priceless.

It's taken me a long time planning this, but only the goriest and most painful death for Kyle will be satisfactory. I could have easily just filled that apple with deadly poison, and the Jew would be dead already, but no, not good enough.

I could gouge out his eyeballs with teaspoons, and then make him eat them, but still, I'd prefer to see that tortured look in his eyes. It's more entertaining that way.

Or, I could boil him alive, but that still wouldn't be funny enough. Well, yes, Kyle splashing around like a fish having a seizure would be funny, but not funny enough.

Kahl, Kahl, Kahl…..I swear, I will make your death as painful as possible.

**()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()**

I heard footsteps coming from the top ledge of the Cookie Mines.

"Tweek? Kenny? Craig? Is that you?" I called.

No reply.

I went up the steep path to the top ledge to investigate. As I got closer, I saw a tall wide shadow. It was too fat and tall to be a midget, so who was it?

I wasn't afraid, was I? No, Clyde Donovan isn't afraid of anything.

I peeked around the cookie wall to see something I wish I hadn't.

Kyle, slouched against the wall, with bloody cuts everywhere, and King Cartman.

Fuck, we told him not to leave, and now look what happened! Or maybe Kyle didn't leave. Maybe Cartman had just barged into the cottage and attacked him.

One thing I'm puzzled by – Why is Cartman at the Cookie Mines? If he knew where Kyle was, did he know about us working here?

The main reason we all left the Kingdom, isn't because everyone hates us. It's because Cartman hates midgets, and wants to wipe them all out, and if Cartman knows we're here, then…

…..we're doomed.

"Oh, hello Clyde, I see you've decided to drop by" said a sinister voice.

I turned around, to meet Cartman with a knife.

"Goodbye Clyde" He wickedly grinned, before plunging the knife into me.

I started to scream, as rivers of blood gushed out of me.

Then, everything went black as I found myself hunched up on the ground, pooling blood.

**()()()()()()()()()()**

I woke up to a scream. Not any scream, but Clyde's scream. Everything was weird and blurry, and I felt pain in almost every part of my body. Slowly, I opened my eyes, to find Clyde, dead, in a pool of blood.

"Fucking Hell," I thought to myself. "Wait, where am I?" All I could see was cookie walls, Clyde, and a lot of blood. I'm guessing by the cookie walls that I'm in the cookie mines.

I recounted my last thoughts. _Cartman, Apple, Poison._

Eventually, I noticed that I was covered in bloody cuts. How did I get those? Why did I feel like my blood had turned to acid?

"Did Sleeping Beauty wake up from his little nap? "A familiar voice called.

I looked up to find Cartman, looking down at me. I saw an evil glint in his eyes. God, I hate it when he does that, it always means I'm gonna suffer.

"Well Kahl, how about we play a little game? It's called _Kill the Ginger Jew_" Cartman smirked, pulling out a dagger.

My eyes widened in fear. He was fucking serious here. I don't know why, but all I could do was scream.

**()()()()()()()()()()**

"Kenny, do you hear screaming?" asked a startled Token.

"Yeah, it sounds like….Kyle!" Kenny replied in shock. He slowly put down his axe.

"Oh-no! He must've followed us! He might be hurt! "Stammered Butters.

"Well what the fuck are we waiting for? The Apocalypse? Let's go!" yelled Craig, running off, the other following him.

**()()()()()()()()()()()**

"P-please Cartman, p-lease stop!" I cried. God, I'm such a wimp, but I can't help it.

He slowly sliced across my neck, watching the blood stain my clothes. He didn't care how much pain he was putting me through, he just wanted me to suffer.

Then, he slit my wrists, and started to write things like _Stupid Fag, Bullshit _and _Motherfucker _all over me with my blood.

The cuts stung like a million wasps, but it felt more like a trillion wasps once he sprinkled salt all over them. Where he learned that, I'll never know, probably coz I should be dead within an hour.

Then, I thought of something. I would either die know, and be reunited with my family, or remain as Cartman's slave forever. Maybe death wouldn't be so bad, right?

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm paralysed with poison, dripping in blood and plastered in cuts. How could it get much worse?

Why did I have to ask that question? He threw me headfirst into a cauldron of fucking boiling water!

My pathetic little screams are just gurgles.

Drowning. Now, that is a painful experience. It feels like you're lungs are bursting, and boiling water makes it all the more painful. You can't even scream coz it burns like hell!

Why won't he just finish me off?

**()()()()()()()()()()()**

"Geez, when did the hot tub get here?" asked Token, hearing gurgles, and seeing light puffs of steam float by.

"Ngh! I-it's the Underpants Gnomes! They're –ngh- gonna roast us alive!" yelled Tweek.

The midgets quickly rushed up the path to the top ledge, where the steam was coming from, and got the shock of their lives.

"Holy fuck, Clyde!" yelled Token, kneeling down beside his bloody corpse. "He's dead!"

Now, the midgets where freaked out.

"AAGGGGGHHHH!" they heard the scream again.

"Token, stay with Clyde, we'll try and find Kyle" ordered Kenny. Token did what he was told.

The five remaining midgets kept going, only to find Kyle, lying in a pool of blood, with a knife thrust in his side. His hair and clothes were soaking wet, and his skin was paler than ever.

"KYLE! Dude, are you Ok? We need to get help!" yelled Kenny, panicking.

Kyle looked up at Kenny, his jade green eyes getting duller and duller by the second.

"Oh Hamburgers! Please don't die on us Kyle," cried Butters.

"I-it's…a trap" Kyle barely managed to croak out, before slumping back down against the wall.

The midgets, looked around, only to find Cartman, with bloodied hands, emerge from the shadows.

"Come to save your precious little Kyle and live happily ever after?" Sneered Cartman, using a knife to slice Kyle's throat more.

"Well, Happily Ever After **This**!" shouted Cartman, thrusting the knife into Kyle's heart. Kyle's eyes bulged wide open, before closing, and falling into a messy, bloody, soggy heap.

Kenny quickly checked his pulse, before turning white and saying, "He's dead"

Craig flipped Cartman off angrily, while Kenny, who was really angry now, leapt on Cartman and started to pound his fat face.

"You motherfucking *_**punch**_* bastard *_**thwack!**_*! Kyle never hurt *_**smack!**_* anyone, and you *_**SLAM!**_* fucking kill *_**crunch**_* him!"

Kenny stomped over to Kyle, carefully pulled the knife from his side, and used it to chop off Cartman's head.

When he was finished, he fell to the ground, panting and sobbing.

Clyde was dead, Kyle was dead, and Cartman was dead. Three horrific deaths within an hour.

**I'm a Bastard! I killed Clyde, Kyle and Cartman! I know exactly where the plot is going, and I'm just gonna spoil it by saying this – Kyle isn't really dead. Ok, you'll find out more in the next chapter on what I mean by that**

**Lots of Luv (and Cookie Dough) from xXCookieDoughXx**


	6. Life, Death, and Awkward Moments

**God, I feel like such an idiot! I kinda wish I hadn't spoiled the ending in the last chapter, but I just did, in case, well, I dunno, people got upset or something. Trust me, I'm not too sure what I was writing. Yes, I really should stop leaving my stories at cliff-hangers, but heck, I can't help it! And another thing, I apologise for the previous chapter being so….depressing.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own SP or Snow White (You kinda already know this by now)**

**Warning: Cursing (And you should know this by now too)**

**()()()()()()()()()()()**

Stan was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering about what Cartman was doing right now. Poor Kyle, probably dead by now. Stan didn't want to believe that, but how could he not?

He couldn't just believe that he'd swoop out of the castle on a horse, rescue Kyle from Cartman's clutches and carry him off to the castle. As if _that_ was gonna happen.

Everything was dull, still and silent, when it was interrupted by a loud _POOF!_

Stan jumped up and found that the magical door, that Cartman had created to stop him escaping, had exploded. What was going on? Still, he wasn't going to miss this. This was his perfect chance!

Ok, he may not be able to swoop off on a horse, save Kyle and bring him back safely to the castle, but he could always try, couldn't he?

Then, he dashed out the door, raced down the staircase and hopped on the nearest horse he could find.

He ignored the terrified villagers' screams of "_Aggh! It's Prince Stan's Ghost_!" and "_The Prince? I thought he was dead_!", and continued to gallop through the streets, until he reached the forest, where he disappeared in the maze of trees.

**()()()()()()()()()()**

Everything was miserable. The sky was grey, and rain heavily poured down. The midgets had just finished blocking off the top ledge, and tossing Cartman's corpse off a cliff. After a lot of work, they had managed to drag Clyde and Kyle to a clearing, and they had buried Clyde.

Now, all they had to do was bury Kyle, but they couldn't bring themselves to do it.

Instead, they had all wearily flopped down on the soggy grass. They all looked at Kyle. His final moments had scarred them for life.

All the midgets were crying a bit, as they'd grown to like Kyle, but no one cried as much as Kenny.

Everyone knew why Kenny was crying so much.

Ever since they'd found Kyle in the forest, Kenny had a growing crush on him. One night, Kyle had told them about Prince Stan, the guy Kyle had a secret crush on.

Kyle, of course, had been heartbroken when he was believed to be dead. Kenny, had been heartbroken, since he knew Kyle liked Stan better, and had hoped Kyle would die.

When he saw Kyle die, he thought it was all his fault, and the guilt had plagued him ever since. Butters had tried to convince him that it wasn't his fault, but Kenny didn't believe him.

Kenny was cursed. He was a midget, which was one thing, immortal, which was another, and his silly wish had killed his crush. He hated hid life, and just wanted to die, but the problem was, he couldn't.

Kenny looked at Kyle. Even though his clothes were stained with crimson blood, and his skin was paler than ever, he looked so calm and peaceful.

Then, Kenny had an idea. He had kept Cartman's knife, and now he knew what to do with it. He wiped his eyes and ran off, trying to get as far away from the other midgets as possible.

"Aw, poor Kenny, he's really taking it hard" sighed Butters. Then, he noticed Kenny holding a bloody knife.

"What's he doing with tha-"Butters thoughts were interrupted by his sudden realisation.

He scrambled to his feet and chased after Kenny. He couldn't let Kenny kill himself over Kyle, even if he would just come back.

"Kenny!" he cried, dodging a tree.

Kenny, realising he was being followed, realised what he had to do.

"I'm sorry you have to see this" said Kenny, as he stabbed himself with the knife.

He spat blood everywhere and began to cough and splutter. Butters just stood there, frozen in shock.

Eventually, Kenny finally stopped spluttering, and remained perfectly still.

"Oh Hamburgers! Kenny's dead!" Yelled Butters.

A breeze whispered through the forest, and it sounded like it was saying "You bastards!"

**()()()()()()()()()()()()()**

Kenny moaned and spat out the hot dust, as he slowly got up. All around him, he could see dark red rock walls, stretching out far into the distance, and a dusty red desert, with mini volcanoes everywhere. Great. He was in Hell.

"Kenny McCormick, for murdering Eric Cartman, you've been sent to Hell" boomed a familiar voice. Kenny turned around, to face Satan

"Oh, hey Satan. Yeah, I know that. By the way, I've come to ask a favour" asked Kenny

"What is it? I'm not really the favour type of guy" Satan replied

"Well, a friend of mine died recently, and, well, I was wondering if you could bring him back to life, in exchange for my immortality"

Satan thought for a moment, then answered,

"You do know that would mean you'd have to spend eternity in Hell, right?"

"Yeah, I know. So will you? Please?"

"Alright, alright. So, who is he?"

"Kyle Broflovski" Kenny answered. "And if it's possible, could you bring back Clyde Donovan too?"

Satan reached towards Kenny, and pulled a strange mist out of him. He then sent the mist in to the air, where it exploded.

"Ok, there you go. Your friends should wake up soon" announced Satan

"Thank you, Satan" Kenny said, sitting down on a rock.

"No problem" replied Satan, disappearing.

**()()()()()()()()()()()()()**

Stan kept galloping through the forest. He had guessed that Cartman must've been pretty far away, causing the magic door to lose its powers. He continued on when he saw figures in the distance. He rode up to them, and noticed they were short people, all mourning someone.

"Err…..Hi" Stan said sheepishly as the midgets turned to face him.

One wearing a blue chullo with a blank expression on his face came up to him and said,

"Hey, aren't you that Prince who died years ago?"

"Err, yeah, that's me, only, I didn't die, I was just locked up in a tower, so people thought I was dead" Stan replied, dismounting his horse.

"Well, vat brings you here Zen?" Asked the Mole, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Actually, I was looking for someone. A friend, in fact" Said Stan.

"And, what was this _friend _like?" asked Token.

"Em, he's about eighteen, got curly red hair and green eyes, and is about this tall" Stan gestured

The midgets went pale.

"Did he happen to be called Kyle?" asked a nervous Token.

"Yeah, do you know him?"

"Well, we _knew_ him" said Craig, stepping aside to reveal Kyle's dead body, resting against the tree.

"HOLY FUCK!" Stan yelled, eyes growing wide in shock," WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!"

"Ngh- C-Cartman killed h-him! Ngh!" Tweek shouted loudly.

"Oh no, oh God no" muttered Stan, kneeling down beside Kyle. He was too late. Cartman had already got to him. His eyes began to fill with tears, which soon began to stream down his face.

"W-what happened to Cartman?" asked Stan, trying to wipe away his tears.

"Kenny, a friend of ours, killed him," Token answered.

"Oh" said Stan. _That's_ why the door lost its powers. When Cartman died, his powers died with him.

"Zo, how do you know Kyle, if you were locked up in a tower?" questioned the Mole.

"I…..erm…..kinda saw him from my window…quite often" Stan blushed, feeling extremely embarrassed.

"Zo, you were spying on zim?" The Mole interrogated.

"No. Not exactly. Just….I…."

"Had a crush on him?" Craig finished Stan's sentence. Stan replied with a sheepish nod. "Well, I guess that's pretty good since he told us he had a crush on you too"

"REALLY?" Stan shouted in surprise.

"Uh-huh" Token nodded.

"Yeah, but he –gah- thought you were –ngh- dead!" Shouted Tweek.

"Well, who doesn't think I'm dead?" Said Stan.

The conversation was interrupted suddenly, when movement was noticed behind them.

They all turned around, and gasped in shock, to find Kyle sitting up, his jade eyes, once again filled with life.

"P….prince Stan? You're dead, right? God, did I just die? Did you guys all die too?" Asked Kyle.

"Err…no. I was just locked up in a tower actually." Said Stan slowly, extremely confused.

Kyle checked himself over. He was still matted in his own blood, and he wasn't as pale any more.

"KYLE! DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU WERE DEAD!" Shouted Token, breaking the silence.

"So was I, well, I thought I was" replied a familiar voice. They all looked up to see Clyde standing there, normal as ever.

"Ngh! IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Yelled Tweek, pulling at his hair.

"_How is it possible? We saw him die! We just buried Clyde! Kyle couldn't of survived that! Why is he so full of life? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!_" Thought Token, Craig, Tweek, The Mole and Stan.

"Well Tweek, I made a little deal with Satan. _That's_ how this happened. Let's just say, I've died, and this time, I ain't coming back." Said a pale, see-through Kenny, who was sitting on a nearby rock.

"You mean you traded your immortality for Kyle and me?" Asked a surprised Clyde.

Kenny nodded, before gradually fading away. Kyle just sat and stared in shock.

How could he take this in? He had died, and had come back to life. To add to that, the person who he had crushed on for many years, wasn't actually dead! He was standing right in front of him!

But why had Kenny did this for him? Dying was a natural process, it was ought to happen someday, so why did Kenny do this to give him a second chance? It didn't make any sense, unless…

….Unless Kenny had loved him.

How could he be so stupid? It was so obvious! When he had told the midgets about his crush Stan, Kenny had stormed out, upset.

Suddenly, Kyle burst into tears. He felt so bad about Kenny. Kenny had loved him. Kenny had died for him. Kenny would've done anything for him, and he had crushed his heart by saying he loved someone else.

"We should probably get inside now" said Craig looking up at the darkening sky.

They all followed inside the small cottage, when The Mole pointed out something.

"Where iz Butters? I hasn't seens him zince he ran after Kenny,"

"Probably mourning over Kenny. Poor guy. Loved him, but Kenny doesn't love him back" said Token.

Now things were getting awkward. Butters loved Kenny, but Kenny loved Kyle, but Kyle loved Stan. (Awkward turtle)

Stan felt awkward too. Were the midgets telling the truth? Did Kyle _really_ love him back? If he did, how would he ask him?

Craig, noticing Tweek freaking out from the awkward silence, tried to start a conversation.

"So Stan, since Cartman's' dead, I guess you're the rightful King of the kingdom, right?"

Kyle's eyes widened. "Cartman's dead?"

"Yeah, Kenny beat the shit outta the fat fuck, and then he killed him" answered Token.

"But anyways, Stan, if you don't mind me asking, why did you come out into the forest to find Kyle anyways?" asked a curious Token.

Stan paused for a moment, trying to think of and answer that wouldn't make him look like a total idiot. "Well, I….erm….kinda saw the accident between Kyle and Cartman at the castle, and when I saw Cartman exit the castle, I kinda knew he was gonna do something, so, when the magical door exploded, I took the chance and ran off to find Kyle, and y'know, see if he was OK"

Kyle was more shocked than before. Stan, a prince who was finally free after years of imprisonment, had gone to all that trouble to make sure _he _was ok! Why would he do that? Kyle was nothing more than a lowly orphan!

"Wait, how do you know my name?" asked Kyle.

"Errrrr…..I see you in the courtyards a lot, and, well, I hear Cartman calling you, and, y'know, just pick it up"

"_So, Stan watches me in the courtyard, huh?_" thought Kyle to himself.

"_Oh shit, I think Kyle's getting suspicious_!" Stan thought to himself.

Well, Stan was definitely right there.

Kyle couldn't help thinking, that maybe Stan liked him back. I mean, why else would he go out to try and save him? Why else would he watch him from a window? Why else would he bother to learn his name? In a way, it kinda made sense that Stan liked him.

Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. Either way, Kyle wanted to know the truth.

**Ok guys! I think that's enough for a decent chapter, right? I'm SUPER sorry to Phantom Nini for constantly leaving my chapters at cliff-hangers, but I really can't help it, as I've previously mentioned. The reason I've left at a cliffy is because I need to think a bit about the next chapter, as it is sadly, probably the last one. :'( **

**Lots of Luv (and Cookie Dough) from xXCookieDoughXx**


	7. Happily Ever Afters

**Ok, since this is the last chapter, I've decided to make it SUPER awesome! I've also been thinking, since I enjoyed writing this story so much, to make another SP Fairy-tale Parody. If you have any ideas on a fairy-tale parody you'd like me to write next then please tell me in the reviews or by PM. And yes, this chapter is gonna have some Style! And just to let you know, I've never wrote anything romantic-y, so, I hope it won't be too shitty!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own SP or Snow White (Why do I always write this?)**

**Warning: Cursing and other…..stuff (And why do I write this as well?)**

**()()()()()()()()()()()()()**

It was way past midnight, and all the midgets and went to bed, except for Tweek, Craig and Clyde, who went out looking for Butters.

Kyle and Stan sat awkwardly downstairs on the sofa. After a few minutes, Kyle decided to break the silence. He _had_ to know _why _Stan had gone out looking for him. He just had to!

"Stan, why did you go out looking for me? I'm just a penniless orphan with nothing special. No one would notice if I died anyways"

Stan just sat there, shocked for a few moments. Kyle was onto him, he knew it. And what did he mean 'No one would notice if he died?'

"Of course people would notice if you were gone! The midgets noticed, and I noticed, and we don't count as no one. Some people do notice Kyle. Just coz you don't think you're important, doesn't mean you're not important!"

Kyle sighed. Stan was right. Yet still, Stan was avoiding the truth. He could especially tell that since Stan was staring at the floor.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, but you're avoiding the truth. There has to be some reason why a Prince would go looking for an orphan. C'mon Stan, please tell me"

Stan stopped staring the floor, and looked up into Kyle's eyes. They were so perfect. Such a beautiful shade of green, that could make your heart melt.

"Kyle, ever since the first day I met you, there was some sort of….special connection….and-"

"-had a growing crush on me since then, and would go to so much trouble just to save me?" Kyle finished Stan's sentence.

Stan's jaw dropped. How did Kyle know? Did he _really_ have feelings for him too?

"Stan, for as long as I know, I've had a crush on you"

Well, at least the awkwardness had died down. Now, everything seemed, somewhat, perfect, as the two broke into a deep kiss.

Sometimes, the most traumatizing days, can turn out to be the best.

**()()()()()()()()()()()()()()**

"Butters! Kenny! Where the hell are you?" cried Clyde. His reply was an owl hooting.

"Dude, it's been hours. Why don't we just go back? They've probably gone home already" moaned a tired Craig.

"Ngh! Yeah, I agree with Craig!" said Tweek, clutching his thermos tightly.

As they wearily trodded back to the cottage, Clyde noticed a blood red puddle gleaming in the moonlight.

"What the fu-" Clyde was interrupted by Tweek's panicked screams, as he pointed to where the red puddle lead to.

The puddle lead to Kenny's dead body and beside him was Butters, covered in fresh red blood. On Butters arms, there was a message, written in blood.

"_Kenny doesn't love me. He loves Kyle. I don't deserve to live_" Clyde slowly read out.

"J-Jesus! Butters killed himself!" shouted Tweek, pulling nervously at his hair.

"Well, what are we supposed to do? It's ten past two! We'll have to leave them here for tonight" said Craig, who was pissed off, since he was gonna have to dig **two** graves tomorrow. Great, just great.

And then, not wanting to deal with an angry Craig, the others headed back home. When they opened the door, they found Stan and Kyle, asleep. Kyle looked so cute, resting against Stan's shoulder.

"Aww…they make such a cute couple" whispered Clyde, "Their pairing name could be called Kan"

Craig looked at him. "Kan? No, Style would be a _much_ better name" He argued.

"Kan!"

"Style!"

"Kan!"

"Style!"

"Gah! Would you two –ngh- stop arguing, or you'll wake up the underpants gnomes!" shouted Tweek, waking Kyle up.

"Ugh. Do you really havta shout this early in the morning?" yawned Kyle sleepily. "So, did you find Butters?"

"Erm, yes, we did, but he's kinda….well, dead" said Clyde.

"WHAT?" Gasped Kyle, in shock.

"We found him with slashed wrists beside Kenny's dead body. He wrote some message, like '_Kenny loves Kyle, and not me, so I shouldn't live_' or something like that" Craig droned, before heading off with Tweek and Clyde to bed.

Guilt plagued Kyle. He was finally happy with Stan, but he had broken Kenny's heart, who had broken Butter's heart. In this awkward love square, he and Stan were the only happy ones.

As Kyle settled back into Stan's cosy shoulder, he couldn't help but wonder what Kenny and Stan were doing right now.

**()()()()()()()()()()()()**

Kenny stood, arms folded, waiting. A hot Hell wind whipped his blonde hair round his face. Suddenly, Butters appeared from nowhere.

"Well, Butters, do you know why I'm cross with you?" said Kenny angrily.

"Err. No. And why am I in Hell?" Butters asked confusedly, looking around at the great red mountains and run down apartments in the distance.

"Well, Butters, raping a dead body is sadly, a one way ticket to Hell. And that's the reason I'm pissed at you." Kenny said, walking around Butters in a circle, and eyeing him, making Butters feel uncomfortable.

"Seriously Butters, you raped my dead body! That's sick! Even though I'm a perv, I wouldn't do something like that!"

Butters looked at the floor, ashamed. He didn't think of Kenny watching over him! He didn't know what he was doing, but he was just so desperate.

"Well, guess what?" continued Kenny, "There was a part of me which wouldn't mind being your friend, but after that, that part disappeared. I swear Butters, don't ever fucking come near me, ever again!"

And with that, a mini red tornado whizzed around Kenny, before disappearing, taking Kenny with it.

"Wow. I've got to learn how to do that" Said Butters to himself, before sighing and plopping to the ground.

Some stories don't have a happily ever after. As for Butters, it's one of them.

**()()()()()()()()()()()()()**

"Fuck, after that, the next bloody grave we'll have to dig will be mine!" moaned Clyde, sprawling out on the grass.

Now, Kenny and Butters were buried, the group went back to the cottage.

"Kyle, I was wondering if you'd like to come back with me to the castle. The midgets can come too if they want to" Stan asked.

Within seconds, Kyle replied "Hell yeah!"

Stan and Kyle smiled, and their hands intertwined, as they walked home.

Well, do you wanna know what happened next?

Well, Stan asked the midgets if they wanted to come back to the castle, but they didn't want to, as they liked their home. They promised to visit often, and trust me, they did.

As for Stan, when he got back to the Kingdom, he explained everything, and the villagers threw a huge party, to celebrate.

After that, things in the kingdom went back to the way it was before Cartman came. Everyone was happier, since they no longer had to fear Cartman.

In fact, Stan turned out to be one of the greatest rulers of the kingdom!

And if you're wondering what happened to Kyle, well, he finally got his happily ever after with Stan. The two of them turned that dreary, dull Kingdom, into a land of happiness and joy. And after a few years, they finally got married. That party lasted twice as long as the last one.

So, Kyle went from a penniless orphan, to a great King alongside Stan. Kinda sweet, isn't it? They also adopted a sweet little daughter called Megan. God, she must be the happiest kid on the planet, with such loving parents.

Cartman? He rotted in the bottom of Hell.

Butters? Well, he found a boyfriend in Hell, called Justin. Turns out, Justin was a pedo. I'll let you imagine what happened next.

Kenny? Well, he attended Stan and Kyle's wedding (as a ghost), and was completely OK with it. Instead of being a bitter old bastard, he cheered the loudest, even if no one could hear him.

Well, for showing such good spirit, this got Kenny admitted into Heaven. See? Good things do happen if you show you really do care about people by letting them go and live their dreams.

And that, my friends, is the end to this tale. Dreams do come true, if you believe in them.

**God, I can't believe it's over! It really has been awesome writing this, and I want to thank all you reviewers. Without you, this story wouldn't be as special. Hopefully, I should be writing more fairy-tale spoofs soon. And, just wanna add this, Kenderella by thecorruptedquietone is another awesome fairy-tale spoof, which you should read.**

**Lots of Luv (and Cookie Dough) from xXCookieDoughXx**


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